So you had a baby. One, two,three,five whatever the case may be; and he has jumped ship. You are thinking how did I get here? I know that I was, I was trying to understand what had happened here? I remember thinking "I love him so much I am having his son, how can he not love me?"
Well first things first, love does NOT by any stretch of the imagination mean that you are meant to spend the rest of your life together. It means just that, that you love that person; for example my relationship with one of my best friends; I love him to death I will bust some a%&* about him; but I would NOT be married to him for all the "love" in the world. He is a wonderful friend as a husband... not so much! To me in my opinion; but for his wife he is the one he is it. So I "love" him that does not constitute happily ever after.
Next my biggest pet peeve with myself and some friends and family that I know that are single moms.... just because you love him does not mean he loves you!! Giving love does not always mean you are going to get it back! That does not make him a low down dirty piece of S#@*&, it makes you be in love and him not. See ladies we can not determine how good of a father this man will be based on weather he loved us or not, or base it on weather he conned us out of the panties! Now before my lades start having a fit, I know that all men are not responsible, for example I know a piece of crap that has eight kids and cares for none of them.... NOT ONE!! Six diffrent mothers and eight kids. Guess what he is a bad man and a bad father, but what about you? Do you mean to tell me that mom number 4 or even 5 in this situation didn't think well damn I know he has kids; but he doesn't work so he is not paying child support and he never says "I'm going to take my kids to the corner" so I should not assume that if I have unprotected sex with him and make a baby that I am going to be the one he keeps. My child will be special! PLEASE!!!
See ladies what I learned in my situation is yes men lie sometimes, yes they betray us and take advantage when they know we are in love and they are not. BUT, we are so busy being "in love" that we refuse to admit that I may have walked into this situation with my eyes wide open; I knew he didn't really love me like I loved him, I know that if he has other kids, our situation is not going to be any different than the others. See I firmly belive in what my grandmother told me, see granny said "Women are to quick to turn they a&* up to someone they "love", then when he looks and walks away you want to be mad! CLOSE YOUR DAMN LEGS!!" Granny was very blunt! LOL
So the first step to correcting this situation I think; is to really stop think back you do it all the time anyway, were there clues before you got pregnant? Did he show you something that you chose to ignore? If so is this really just his fault? See now that you have had a child with this person for now and forever more this person his in your life and your childs life. Do you really have the right to take your child other parent from him just becaue you are beoken hearted; your heart will heal but the pain from being fatherless will be with your child.
Again I know that there are some men that are just trifling and no matter what you do he ain't gone act right. I am not talking about him. I am talking about the MAN that is in a situation where two people that have created a child and decided they can not be together ends up not being in his childs life and missing out on being a father because he was not in love with his childs mom. Does this mean that my child, my son your daughter does not deserve the chance to know his father? Or his family that comes with him. We have to stop acting like having a father, is really not necessary for our chilren. Our kids need a sense of family they need to know unconditional love, they need to know that there are people that love him/her even if mom and dad can not be together.
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