I know this couple, they have been married for 15 years. About 5 years into the marriage; she hated him, his mother, his sisters, and brothers. She thought he and his family were beneath her. I remember after one of there many, many arguments about his mother; she described his mother as looking like a slave and having a slave mentality.
Now we can dispense with the niceties here, when a woman with a mixed racial background of Caucasian, and African American with a husband with a completely African American race; says that her mother in law looks like a slave. There is something wrong with the whole family dynamic! Now the reason that I bring up this couple is because this wife has determined that because (in her mind) he is a bad husband and his mother is a "slave" that he was not worthy of being a parent, that he was some how less of a father to his children and so once they separated he was no longer allowed to see or be with his children because she did not think that he was a good influence on them.
Now let me tell you the real reason that she does not allow him to see his children. She is mad at him; her fantasy was demolished and she is pissed off about it, she knows that the most important thing to this particular man is his children, not her, not his mother, not his siblings but his kids; and sense she feels that she was "tricked" by him she is using the only thing that she has to torture and hurt him... his kids.
The real story is, that she met him when she was 11 and he was 14. She "fantasized" him in her mind and made him a "Greek God" so to speak. So she chased him and chased him, and he dangled the bait knowing that she would do anything to get him, sleep with him check buy him things, check be at his beck and call whenever he needed or wanted anything, check, wait for him while he is married to two other women before her, check; be a mother to the child that he had with yet another woman, check and last but not least go to Vegas to get married out of fear he may change his mind before they can get to a wedding, check. OK so now that you have heard just the general basics, who do you think is the damn fool? If you did not say her, you are a damn lie!!!!
She decided when she was 11 years old that this was the man of her dreams and she went about making sure that she got him that he was her man. Well she did, she got him lock stock and barrel. She let him "date her" but not really "date her" which means behind closed doors (for sex) she was his lady, but in public with his friends and family she was his "friend". His first marriage took place while he was still her "friend" and his second marriage took place while she was pregnant by there "friendship"; she miscarried that pregnancy while he was at home with his wife. When his second marriage ended he got another woman pregnant all the while they were still "friends". Now I am not by any means saying that what he did was OK, he was a DOG and as a man and husband; he should have been hung from a big oak tree by only his left testicle with a barb wire string. But at no time was she ever in the dark about any of this, his wives they were in the dark, his "public girlfriend" she was in the dark but she was never in the dark, she knew her status and she allowed this treatment. It's so funny to me when people say "he tricked her and took advantage of her love for him" yes he did take advantage but it was not of her love for him it was of her having a low self esteem and allowing him to walk all over her. I think that men come hard wired to do dirt; it his up to us to short circuit that wire or to take a wire clipper a "nip" it in the bud. But deal with him woman to man.
So after years, and years of being out and out used it was plain as day this is what he is doing. After he has had two failed marriages, a child with another woman, has no job and lives with his mother, he finally purposes to her one day in a park. She who has a brand new car, a two bedroom apartment and a full time well paying job.
By the next day she had paid for there tickets to Vegas and they had gone to Vegas and gotten married. She finally got him; after all those years and all that scheming she finally had him he was her formerly married, unemployed, homeless, husband and what she was thinking was YEAH ME! I'm sorry but does anybody else think that there is something wrong with this picture?
So after years of living as his wife, the fantasy bubble was burst, he was no longer her night and shining armor he was, a motherF$*)@&, who could not keep a job, with a family that always needed something from them, a mother-in-law that had no respect for her, and a baby momma that was exactly what we were talking about here today. They had almost been homeless, had no car, and because by the time they got married he had horrible credit, there lives were in her name and her credit was being destroyed because he could not keep a well paying job, they had 5 kids to feed and he wanted her to be a stay at home mom with an unemployed husband. Now how many of you thought this was going to end well? If one person raised there hand I wish I was there to slap you!
With all that, with all that he has done to her and with her, because like I said it takes two, she feels that she is the victim and it is time for some payback and the only way to get that is through there kids. Well first of all, what about there kids; I'm sorry but our children are floundering ladies and gentlemen, they are floundering because they do not know what it is like to have a family a full family. I think we all need to know who we are, we need to know, who we came from. I am not saying that women can not succeed in raising a child by themselves, because we see from allot of successful people that it can happen, but it is the exception not the rule. Do our children deserve the best that we can give them? Do they deserve to have all the opportunities in the world to be great people? Yes they do. The fantasy was turned into the nightmare from hell, I understand that hurt, that pain that humiliation. Using your kids because you know he does not care one way or the other what you feel, is not right! She knew deep in herself; in her soul and heart that this man was not the man of her dreams, God threw road block after road block in her way and she got out the pick axe and climbed over them to get her man. Once again I say BAD BAD husband, I think if there was a hall of fame for that he should be in it; you know the one that should have a Tiger Woods statue in the front..... Ohhh I know The Tiger Woods Bullsh*# Husband Museum! LOL I like that.
Ladies what I am saying is it's not our place to use or children to punish someone for our mistakes. My granny used to always say; "Baby, God can punish him much worse than you can!" Married, never married it all in the same category as Baby Momma Drama! It needs to stop!
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